Listed Binary Options - Cboe

Uhhh sorry sweetie, even tho you take estrogen, you’re not trans if you identify as non-binary

Everyone knows being trans is about conforming to the binary!! Dumb bitch. Also if you don’t present how I see fit, you’re not trans. If you still hide your identity you aren’t really trans. No my parents were never poor and yes everyone in my life has been super accepting but like, if I can do it you can too! I’ve been transitioning for 8 years so yeah I’m allowed to make these calls. You aren’t actually trans unless I say so. Being trans is about taking meds and being everything cis society expects of you as a girl!! That to me is true freedom
/uj I fucking loathe truscum classist privileged pieces of shit who think they’re the gatekeepers of being trans. Also enbyphobia will get your teeth kicked loose I fucking DARE YOU TO COME AT MY NON-BINARY FRIENDS I WILL END YOU
submitted by jaquelynnsnow to transgendercirclejerk [link] [comments]

Plz fix

Plz fix submitted by contemporaryIliad to ennnnnnnnnnnnbbbbbby [link] [comments]

I’ve never seen this from a doctor’s office before. Reason #84636 I love my gyno.

I’ve never seen this from a doctor’s office before. Reason #84636 I love my gyno. submitted by _queefer_sutherland_ to WitchesVsPatriarchy [link] [comments]

Gender Identity Poll

I’m just curious about gender identities on this sub. If it makes you uncomfortable you don’t have to answer.
View Poll
submitted by TheMika7 to TERFisafetish [link] [comments]

2019 Hyperpop Rate (Slayyyter / 100 gecs / Dorian Electra / Hannah Diamond)

Hello ladies, gays, enbys, and other pots-and-pans enthusiasts and welcome to the 2019 Hyperpop Rate! I'm your host, quenched, and am here to guide you through this month's rate full of boundary-pushing, experimental, over-the-top bubblegum bass, or as it is more commonly called, hyperpop. The genre has come a long way since it's humble PC Music beginnings and has grown to boast a large cult fanbase, majority of which is made of members of the LGBTQ+ community.
Here are the cling clang bitches we will be rating:
In case you're impatient like me and already know the drill...
HERE is the link to the Spotify playlist
HERE is the link to submit scores

Slayyyter - Slayyyter

Up first, we have Slayyyter, queen of high-budget-sounding-but-actually-low-budget Grindrcore music, with her self-titled debut mixtape. After releasing a string of singles starting in 2018 with BFF, featuring hyperpop legend Ayesha Erotica, she has held the attention of gays and hyperpop fans everywhere, propelled by her dominating stan-like presence on social media. While not every loose single made the cut for her mixtape, she still has a versatile discography with zero misses, whether making filthy, horny bangers on songs like "Candy" and "Daddy AF", braggadocious bops "Cha Ching" and "Celebrity", or glittery bubblegum pop such as fan-favorite "Mine". Warning: you will become slightly gayer upon album completion.

Tracklist:

  1. BFF (feat. Ayesha Erotica)
  2. Mine
  3. Alone
  4. Candy
  5. Cha Ching
  6. Devil
  7. Ur Man
  8. Daddy AF
  9. Motorcycle
  10. Celebrity
  11. Tattoo
  12. E-Boy (feat. That Kid)
  13. Touch My Body
  14. Ghosttt

100 gecs - 1000 gecs

This rate marks the first time in Popheads rate history we have cut an album from a rate and replaced it with another. LIZ's album "Planet Y2K" was supposed to be in the rate initially, but it came to my attention that she is a transphobic Trump supporter with NO apology or backtrack ever given. So, I posted this comment one day in a Daily Discussion post, and after 72 votes, 65% of you wanted LIZ to be replaced with 100 gecs (which honestly is better anyways musically speaking).
100 gecs are definitely one of the more well known hyperpop acts. The critically acclaimed duo are one of the few hyperpop acts to reach well beyond the LGBTQ+ audience. Consisting of Dylan Brady and Laura Les (who is trans!!!), the duo's debut album, especially money machine, has gone semi-viral within the music sphere and TikTok alike. If you can say one thing about this album, it's that you never know what to expect or what crazy sounds you're going to hear next! They also released a phenomenal remix album called "1000 gecs and The Tree of Clues", reimagining every song on this album and featuring many Popheads favorites such as Charli XCX and Kero Kero Bonito.
gecgecgecgecgecgecgecgecgecgecgecgecgecgecgecgecgecgecgecgecgecgecgecgecgecgecgec

Tracklist:

  1. 745 sticky
  2. money machine
  3. 800 db cloud
  4. I Need Help Immediately
  5. stupid horse
  6. xXXi_wud_nvrstøp_ÜXXx
  7. ringtone
  8. gecgecgec
  9. hand crushed by a mallet
  10. gec 2 Ü

Dorian Electra - Flamboyant

Challenging heteronormativity and the gender binary, Dorian exploded onto the scene with many loose singles, beginning with Clitopia in 2016. These singles led up to Flamboyant, an abrasive, electropop album that doesn't have a single skip! The album also features some production by Dylan Brady, who is one-half of 100 gecs, also present in this rate. Beyond the songs themselves all being bangers, lyrically Dorian explores different aspects of their sexuality and masculinity in songs such as "Emasculate", "Flamboyant", and Adam & Steve, a song which is sure to resonate which any religious gays participating in the rate. Dorian has already released their second album "My Agenda", which I also definitely recommend everyone streams after doing the rate!
Note: Dorian uses they/them pronouns so I'm gonna be mad if I get any ballots using anything otherwise!

Tracklist:

  1. Mr. To You
  2. Career Boy
  3. Daddy Like
  4. Emasculate
  5. Man To Man
  6. Musical Genius
  7. Flamboyant
  8. Guyliner
  9. Live By The Sword
  10. Adam & Steve
  11. fReAkY 4 Life
  12. Tool For You
  13. Under The Armor
  14. Guyliner, Pt. 2
  15. Your Kinda Guy

Hannah Diamond - Reflections

Lastly we have Hannah Diamond, who has been around the longest of the artists in this rate, releasing her first song in 2013. She was one of the first names in PC Music, taking her until 2019 to release her debut album (giving Sky Ferreira a run for her money as far as album waits go). Featuring A.G. Cook production and dreamy vocals from Hannah, this album was definitely worth the long wait!

Tracklist:

  1. Reflections
  2. Invisible
  3. Love Goes On
  4. Never Again
  5. True
  6. Concrete Angel
  7. The Ending
  8. Shy
  9. Fade Away
  10. Make Believe

BONUS RATE

Unfortunately for this rate, we couldn't include the queen of hyperpop, Emily Montes, as she did not debut until 2020, therefore not fitting the rate theme. At only 5 years old, she is already receiving fairly decent critical reception. She has two projects on Spotify, the self-titled debut album, Emily Montes and the also self-titled EP, Emily. Featuring experimental production, lyrics that touch on serious topics such as COVID-19 and BLM, and never-before-seen insight into a 5 year old's life, both projects are masterpieces. Despite the seemingly large amount of songs, the bonus rate only lasts 7 minutes and 47 seconds so I definitely recommend setting aside this short amount of time to participate and experience a true visionary.
This part is completely optional and is just for fun. You may rate as many or as few songs as you'd like. No 0's or 11's, and and no minimum artist average. Here are the songs for the bonus rate:

Emily Montes:

  1. EmiLy
  2. Emily montes
  3. Emily rose
  4. Emily montes (Breakup)
  5. Emily montes (Corona Is Crazy)
  6. Frozen
  7. Untitled
  8. Emily From The West
  9. Untitled 2
  10. If you know you know if you don't you don't
  11. Take me away
  12. Roblox is my life
  13. Give me my crown
  14. Roboticy

Emily:

  1. Brand New - Intro
  2. Haters / BLM George Floyd / Dark
  3. Hungry / I Like to Go Outside

The Rules

  • Listen to EVERY SINGLE SONG in the main rate! Any ballots missing scores will not be accepted.
  • Scores should be between 1-10, with only one decimal place if desired. Anymore will crash the program!! (i.e. 5.5 is accepted, 5.55 is not)
  • You may give ONE song an 11, and ONE song a 0. Reserve these scores for your favorite and least favorite songs in the rate, respectively.
  • Submit scores via the prepared link at the bottom of this post.
  • If you let some of the songs marinate and end up wanting to change up your scores throughout the rate period, feel free to PM me at any time!
  • Scores will probably be due sometime early to mid-December, but try and have them in by the end of the month if you can!
  • Sabotage is NOT allowed, so leave the stan twitter mindset at the door! I reserve the right to question any seemingly over-the-top low or high averages.
  • Here is the only format accepted for scores and comments (you may also leave comments for the albums as a whole if you'd like):
Mine: 1 oh me oh my this song is shit
Album: 1000 gecs: the lil piss babies did THAT
Any other format for scores/comments is incorrect!

SPOTIFY PLAYLIST

SUBMISSION LINK

(Just in case the preprepared link doesn't work, here is a pastebin of the submission format. Just copy and paste it to me via DM with your scores and comments)
Happy rating!
submitted by DaHumanTorch to popheads [link] [comments]

My brother and I just released alpha of our open source declarative programming language (implemented in Haskell!) for writing modern web apps (i.e. React/Node/Prisma) with no boilerplate. We are still learning Haskell and would love to get your feedback / advice!

Web page: https://wasp-lang.dev Docs: https://wasp-lang.dev/docs Github repo: https://github.com/wasp-lang/wasp
We have been playing with Haskell for years now, but always on the side, and this is the first bigger project we are doing in Haskell (we thought Haskell would be a good fit for compiler), so we encountered interesting challenges and we are learning a lot as we are solving them.
We are mostly sticking to “Boring Haskell”, due to us still learning some of the more complex concepts, but also in order to enable less experienced Haskellers to potentially contribute to the codebase.
Some of the interesting Haskell-related challenges we encountered so far:
Some bigger Haskell-related things on our roadmap:
We are looking for alpha testers, contributors, feedback, so let us know if you would like to participate!
submitted by Martinsos to haskell [link] [comments]

Using they pronouns as a cis woman

Question for you all... I want to put my pronouns in my insta bio bc some non binary people I follow say it's good for cis people to do it because it help to normalize declaring your pronouns. And I kinda want to put she/they because I don't really care/I kinda like just calling everyone they... but I'm trying to figure out of that's like kinda obnoxious (or even harmful?) for cis people to put they as a pronoun or if it's harmless/good?
Thank you all for any input you can give! I truly want to do what makes people feel comfortable and do not want to overstep in any way.
submitted by obscureanddainty to ask_transgender [link] [comments]

It's been 4 Days since my Spouse Came Out as MTF - Here are Some Random Thoughts I've had!

I (cis-f, 33) have been a bit of a hot mess the past week and my mind has been all over the place. Because this is so new (and subject to change), we aren't telling anyone else at the moment, so I don't have a sounding board, so thank you, internet, for giving me an outlet to talk about my feelings thoughts. I am sorry if any of this is triggering. I'm new and still learning what this means.
  1. My spouse told me that it would be easier to buy them a Christmas gift this year (more options!). "Do you want Bath and Body Works Products? - That was like *the* default "girl" gift that I received when people started getting gifts when I was becoming a 'woman'." -- They said that they would be into that.
  2. If we stay together and they go through a full social-transition, I was thinking that it would be exciting to do a renewal of vows, like a small thing with both of us in dresses, with like a small beach ceremony and just super supportive people around us (I know I am WAY ahead of myself).
    1. This was immediately followed by fear about them being "prettier" than me and getting so many compliments and me being the ugly one. I am also really not interested in being masculine in any way and I have this weird insecurity about not being seen as feminine or "good enough" at being a girl.
    2. My spouse is good at a HUGE range of things. They are really remarkable in that regard and I am afraid that the more feminine they express, the more competition I will feel with them and they will beat me because they are going to be better at those things.
  3. "Maybe you should try one of my bras, it's not like *I've* worn one since the beginning of this quarantine." Haha
    1. I am a little insecure that we are similar size width-wise (they are definitely taller) but I've been struggling with my weight, so they can wear some of my dresses, for example, but they may be a little short. I wish I was small enough that we couldn't just interchange clothes so easily, but I guess we could both share double the wardrobe.
    2. It is nice that they can try on clothes that they don't have to buy right away. Definitely cheaper.
  4. My in-laws already hate me for other unrelated reasons and I just *know* that they will blame this situation on me. I am unsure how my parents would respond, but they have definitely expressed low-level homophobia. They are in the "I don't want to see it" camp. I am also fairly certain my mom will believe that this is a "mental health illness" and means that my spouse is a sexual deviant.
    1. This viewpoint scares me because it resonates with my internalized transphobia. That being "born in the wrong body" is an illness or some sick and twisted sexual fetish. If anyone has any ways to combat this initial reaction to this, I would love to know how to de-condition myself. Unfortunately, I associate transgenders as being a bit "weird" and now I'm having cognitive dissonance because I don't want to believe that my spouse is a weird sexual deviant.
    2. I also know that I have a hard time with emotional boundaries and self-doubt, so if someone comes at me with a strong opinion, I have a hard time not letting that get to me. Plus I'm a people-pleaser and I'm sure we will meet with some awful people along this journey.
    3. I'm afraid that this will reflect "poorly" on me and it gives me a sense of shame -- then I feel shame about the shame in a shame-spiral.
    4. If my in-laws disown them, I wonder if my spouse will change their last name. Should I change my last name? Should we pick a whole new name together? -- I do not feel "non-conformist" enough to do this.
  5. It's only been 4 days since they came out to me and they have already just skipped over the non-binary phase. Weirdly my spouse has expressed discomfort in the "in-between" space and has gone right to the feminine.
  6. I was super stressed about the election a week ago and now it is barely on my radar. The nice thing is I can hide my volatile emotions in election-stress, but for how long?
    1. I am like the worst secret-keeper in the world and this is definitely the biggest secret I have ever been asked to keep. I feel like it is written all over my face and I just hate it so much. I do NOT want to out them, but I am so scared I will CRACK under this pressure.
    2. This is interesting in that I have been working on healing an eating disorder. Today my nutritional coach called and asked how I was doing and that was hard for me. I don't want to completely derail my progress or really get into "this" with her, but I'd be lying if I said I haven't eaten/drank irresponsibly during the last week because of my strong emotions.
  7. Will *I* be accepted into the LGBTQ community? What IS my sexuality? I haven't really had to think about it before. Can I be a "real" bisexual/lesbian? Would I ever be viewed that way?
  8. Are we moving too fast? My spouse is like in a dress, one of my padded bras, makeup, and shaved their legs/chest already. They seem so happy. I feel happy that they are happy. I actually feel honored that they feel safe enough with me to explore so fully so quickly. It makes me feel like our marriage is stronger than I thought.
    1. They used some body spray and women's deodorant and now they smell different and that is unexpectedly disorienting for me.
  9. I don't like the rhetoric of "dead" name because I don't want to believe my spouse is "dead" -- their current name is one of those names that is generally used for a boy, but every once in a while is used for a girl (which is weirdly cool and hot and edgy to me). They aren't sure they want to actually change their first name, but I think I need something to call them so I can get more into the space of mentally viewing them the way they are presenting.
  10. I have this weird fear that when people find out they will be more upset about it than me. I haven't cried for example, but I just know someone else will, even though it won't affect them as much as it will affect me. That's weird and gate-keeping, I know, but I just feel like if I can "keep it together" so can they.
    1. I have some issues with emotions/emotional expression (especially sadness) and maybe this triggers me because it sometimes feels like I have "robot" feelings and that if I don't cry/mourn then "I don't care" as much. Believe me. I care. This intimately affects me.
  11. If they go on hormones will their sexuality change? Is that a common thing? If they start on hormones, how would that change their personality? They are one of the most chilled-out, contented, calm people I've ever met, but will hormones make them overly emotional?
  12. When I first thought about my sexuality, I thought/believed that the reason I could never be a lesbian would be 1) I want to be unequivocal 'the girl' and I was afraid of sharing that role and 2) I wouldn't want to deal with the over-emotionality of women. I have believed that I could probably be sexually attracted to women, but would be hesitant to be in a romantic relationship with them because it seems harder to be with a woman (both socially in society) and I am much more aligned with the "receiver" / the one who is cared for rather than the "provider" / the one who cares for the other. <-- I don't even know HOW to do that effectively.
    1. Let me clarify, I care for my spouse but it's generally the emotional care, not the "let me get rid of this spider" type of care. I can hold space for them to explore themselves, but I'm not gonna be able to protect them from a violent predator. I still want them to hold me.
So yeah, that's all pretty random. I'm very "heady" and just think a million-times a minute, so this is just the things that have been standing out to me. Thank you for listening.
submitted by meshsock to mypartneristrans [link] [comments]

Coming Out and Having Secrets

Hey, it's some weirdo again. Bored on a gloomy day, thought I'd write down some thoughts.
I see a lot of my fellow sissy weirdos having a lot of serious struggles with whether to come out, whether to live full time, and what kinds of secrets to have. It can be a very painful thing to struggle with, and for a lot of people it's what leads a harmless kink into some serious depression and anxiety. So I just wanted to share a bit about what I've learned along the way in the hopes that it could be beneficial to someone reading.
Now just to start with, I have very little judgement and I don't aspire to be a bummer. The last thing I want to do is make you overthink your love of sucking cock, your desire to have your sensitive little sissy nips played with while you're in a pink tutu, or make you feel bad about your secret panty collection. This should be fun, and you should have fun! I don't think sex is inherently something to be ashamed of, nor do I think eschewing normal gender roles is inherently problematic. So don't worry, sweet little sluts, I have you. That said, we do get a little serious towards the end.
I feel like I need to give a disclosure here: I live my life as a cis man, but experience some gender dysphoria and have been having sissy experiences for something like a decade. I'm not a mental health professional, and if you're struggling with serious depression, go find one instead of reading reddit threads. That said, if you want someone to relate to, some of my experiences might help.

Definition of Sissy
So though a million people have done this in the past, I wanted to start by defining what a sissy is. The fact is that nobody can really make a definition that works for everyone as there is no true authority on the matter. But from reading what others have interpreted and from my own personal life experience, I think that a sissy is a person born male who gets sexual gratification out of the idea of being forced/ coerced/ or seduced into acting feminine, dressing feminine, or taking on a feminine role in sex. This is meant to stand in contrast to a trans woman, who is a person assigned male at birth but who identifies distinctly as female. Trans women can certainly still enjoy sissy play, but not all sissies are trans. What's probably the most important thing to take from this definition of sissy is that it sort of has some inherent discord to the definition: "sissy" describes a person who should have had the OPPORTUNITY to be male and masculine, but who instead chooses or is forced to portray a feminine role. The very existence of sissies is thus in a state of inherent disharmony, a disharmony echoed in most sissy porn that frequently expresses coercion or plays off the idea of being degraded to a point of sexual submission. In essence, it's about being one thing AND another, at the same time.
It's no surprise then that the idea of secrets and imbalance are an inherent part of the ideology. You are effectively living your life as one thing and another, so it's normal that people confront this idea of secrets and what to be open with.

The Value of Secrets
In short, everyone has secrets, and secrets can be a fun thing. We all like to act like we're open books, but the fact of the matter is that everyone you know has something they don't share with the world. More of us than not have unique sexual interests or have had unique sexual experiences, and even outside of sex, we all have things we don't want the world to know about. You shouldn't feel like a freak if you have a fun obsession with sexy sissy stuff. If you day dream about having a mouth full of cum all the time, you shouldn't feel bad about that. Gargle away.
Secrets in this case are not inherently a bad thing. By their very nature they express a certain vulnerability: they represent something that you know that you wouldn't want the world to know about, and that can make you feel like there's a moralistic imperative to have less of them. Basically you're afraid of your secret leaking to the world, so you think to yourself that your secret is inherently bad. But it isn't! The way I always think about it is this: does your mom need to know what your favorite sex position is? Does your boss need to know when your first hand job was? These are fundamental experiences we all have that don't need to carry a moral weight to them, but that also don't need to be shared in the world. Your personal fetishes can be the same.
And there are, from my personal experience, some benefits to having secrets. I spent a long time in my 20s being pretty closeted about my sexual endeavors. I'd meet up with guys from craigslist and suck their cocks, I would dress in my girlfriends clothes and have two guys over to double end me, I snuck off to gay sex parties where i'd suck cock and get fucked by strangers, and the world didn't know about it. As much as I did feel some vulnerability that my secrets might be exposed, I also felt an ongoing sense of confidence. When you have secrets like that, certain things in the world can't touch you. insults that people might make about you or assumptions about you just roll off your back: you know that they don't know the real you, so how could their opinion about you really matter? Only you know the real you. They just see what you want them to see. their judgments mean nothing. Additionally, going through some of the real scary and intense sort of stuff--having gay sex in a public restroom or glory hole, or going to a strangers house to fuck--can sort of turn down the volume on other things in life. Stuff that used to be scary simply isn't anymore because you've dealt with some REAL scary shit, and survived.
Even when your secret is that you love taking it in the ass and guzzling piss and cum, it can be empowering to simply have something for YOURSELF. something that you do, because you want to do it, and you aren't afraid of the world's repercussions.

The Cost of Secrets
All of that said, there are certainly costs to being a secretive person, and some of those costs can be pretty serious and a real bummer. Some of them can have a drastic effect on your mental health.
The first thing to confront for sissies of course is whether or not you're expressing internal homophobia or misogyny. Feeling closeted can be an awful feeling. Watching people be out and proud about being gay or being trans and you yourself having impulses that you don't share can make you see yourself as a coward, or a liar, or a fake. You can feel like you're hurting people who are out, or hiding from people who scare you.
There's a lot of nuance in the sissy world about this kind of thing so I won't go at it at length, but I would encourage everyone to try to step away from those classic "is being a sissy gay" or "am i gay if i just wanna suck cock" kind of arguments. These sort of things still put the term "gay" as being this awful, OTHER thing that you don't want to be. It's inherently qualifying gay as being a worst case scenario, something to avoid, something to be afraid of. So i would encourage you to have less fear of it as a sexual identity. maybe you are bisexual, or queer, or curious, or whatever. It doesn't matter. What matters is how you feel about it. If, to you, having a preference to suck cock isn't any different than a slight preference for doggy style, then sure, maybe you don't have an obligation to come out as gay or bi or whatever. Looking at some cock here and there isn't a big deal. But if for you it's causing you to feel ashamed, then consider coming out as queer or bisexual. That's what i did! eventually i started feeling awful about being closeted in a world full of hate and homophobia, so i came out. For me, it was a good decision that ended up having a remarkably small effect on my life, and it separated a lot of the mental baggage i had. I still had my secrets, nobody knew exactly WHAT i was doing with guys, but knowing that the world had an idea made me a lot less afraid to be exposed to the world, a lot less ashamed of who i was as a person. So, to summarize, it's a personal decision, but consider non-binary options. You can identify however you want, to whoever you want. Shades of gray are not only permitted, but inevitable.
(quick note: there's nothing cowardly or shameful about not coming out if you're in a scary situation. if you live with your parents and your dad is an awful homophobe, you don't have to feel an obligation to come out that said, you should start the wheels on doing ANYTHING and EVERYTHING you can to get out of that situation, at your own pace. get a job, save money, make a plan to move out and gain your own independence so you can start being yourself.)
The next risk of being secretive concerns your partners. Many of you are in straight relationships and you might feel like you've got past the point of no return: if you were going to tell your partner that you sometimes suck cock or that you want to wear her clothes or that you look at weird sissy hypno porn, you feel like you should have done it by now. maybe you feel like she won't love you or respect you anymore.
This obviously is going to be very different from relationship to relationship. But I would strongly recommend that you open up to people you're in relationships with, and try to do it early. The longer you're with a person the higher the odds are that they'll somehow find out what you've been up to, and if they find out that you have a whole sexual identity that they weren't aware of when they've been with you for years, this can be a very painful and traumatizing process. It isn't that the things you enjoy are inherently BAD, it's simply that you've shown that you don't trust this person to know the whole you, or to be welcomed in. and that can put a serious dent in a relationship. You certainly don't need to tell your partner every time you jerk off or show them what porn you like (unless you do that in a fun, kinky way). but if it's going to be an increasingly big part of your life, consider opening up to them about your interests. In the end, you deserve to be loved and appreciated for who you really are.
\**incoming, important part****
Which leads into the biggest problem with secrets. Secrets are fun at first; as stated above, you get a thrill out of having these secret parts to you, these things that make you unique and special. you feel excited, horny, thrilled, and you have a good time. But there is a consequence to this, and that is that you'll begin to subconsciously feel that the people in your life don't know the REAL you. You'll come to believe that your friends, family, and partners only love the version of you that you PROJECT into the world, that they only love you because of who you fake you are. And when you're in a dark place in your life and you're trying to convince yourself that you are a good person, a person who's life has meaning and value... then a loved one looking you in your eyes and telling you they love you and think you're a good person will begin to feel hollow. You won't be able to take comfort in it, because you'll know that they don't actually know the REAL you. and you'll resent that part of yourself, and the people who don't know the real you, and you'll convince yourself that if they DID know the real you, they would hate you.
If it isn't clear, I'm talking a bit from experience here.
But fear not, there is a way out. I was a man full of secrets and lies, and eventually i realized that to really enjoy my life the way i wanted to i'd have to just be honest. I worked with my partner to open up about who i am and open up our relationship so that i could get what i needed, i gave my friends loose details about me being into weird kinky stuff (and didn't go into more detail than that) and came out as bisexual. And now, when my partner says she loves me, i can believe it. I know she knows the real me. And I have to tell you, my fellow perverts, having someone know the real you, know your deepest darkest feelings and secrets, and still LOVE you is just... the best feeling there is. Whether it's your partner or your friends or your family, it's a very uplifting feeling.
So it takes work to communicate these things. You'll need to go out of your comfort zone. you'll hurt feelings, you'll have a hard time communicating, you'll stumble, you'll have moments of remorse. But if you get to the end of that road, you'll be happier and more free than you thought you could be.

Whether to go Full Time
Ok again, have to say that I'm not a therapist and i'm not a trans person, so take anything I say here with a grain of salt. But I know that lots and lots of you fine sissies are struggling with whether to go from fantasy to reality and transition. The first and most important thing here is that there isn't anything inherently wrong with being trans! So don't consider it a worst case scenario or anything that you should look at with dread. lots of people transition and live much happier lives, so if that's the path for you, enjoy yourself.
That said! As I stated above, there's this inherent idea of being a "sissy" that means that you know that you're a man but believe you should act like or be treated like a woman. So a lot of the porn that goes along with sissy stuff tends to deliver this tempting, taunting message that you should finally take the plunge, take the leap, give in to your true desires, and transition.
I guess I'd just say that you should jerk off and then think about it, if i'm being straight with you. We all get pretty ... intense, when we're in the heat of a sexual moment. when i'm horny and desperate you can feed me your ass and piss and spit in my face and i'll beg you desperately for more. I've done some shit. And for me personally, it does make me want to fall headlong into sissy play. I want to shave every inch of me, convert my body, throw away all my boxer shorts and be the sissy cock sucker cum dump i was meant to be.
But i guess just keep in mind that real life is, in fact, real life. you can't actually look at the life of a cock sucking sissy as a simple ALTERNATIVE to your hum drum life because the fact is that sissies also need to do things like pay rent, have jobs, see their families on the holidays, raise their kids, see that guy from high school at the mall... all the stuff we have to do every day. The fact is there just aren't all these rich guys who want to pay you to dress pretty and be their slut, and the people who do get close to that, just get a few years out of it before they age out.
So just jerk off. get it all out of your head, then go back and ask yourself how transitioning would effect your life goals, your relationships with people, and everything else you have going on. if it meets your goals, then go talk to a therapist and see if it's a good idea! If not, maybe you should just chill out and enjoy that you have this ever tempting fetish that you can enjoy for the rest of your days.

In the End, Open Your Mind
So that's pretty much it. I'd just want to end on this: a lot of sissies feel anxiety about their personal identity because they're trying to force that identity into boxes other people have defined. Whether you're gay or straight, whether you're a male or female, whether you're full time or part time, passable or not, a slave or a pillow princess, a cum addict or just a fantasizer.... these are all just toys for you to play with. none of them have to define you. none of them have to hurt you. you can use them to build up the identity and routine that gives you a sense of sexual satisfaction while preserving your greater life goals. so have fun with it, and relax. the world is your playground.


note: if you liked reading this, i've written about lots of other sissy stuff on reddit. just click on my page and you'll see more, i think, i dunno i don't really know reddit. also, i love talking about sex and sexuality, so feel free to dm me with any questions if you don't like to comment directly.
submitted by Sp00kyAshl3y to Sissy [link] [comments]

Trans men "identifying as girls"

I've seen a bunch of hand-wringing about AFAB trans people not identifying in the "right" way, such as there being a lot of "non-binary trans men" or "soft boi" binary trans men. I'd like to explain the likely reason why we might see this trend.
Growing up AFAB, you are almost certainly going to be sexually harassed or catcalled a few times. This happens a lot to kids too. 12/13 year olds do get catcalled, and it is unbearably traumatic. AFABs also have an over 50% lifetime sexual assault rate and very high domestic abuse rate, with most instances of assault occurring mid to pre-transition and the assaulter most often being a cis man.
Imagine you are comming out, and trying to "become a man" and the cis guy who offers to help you by letting you live in his spare room rapes you. If your experience with men involved liars, rapists, and pedophile cat-callers, you might start to develop an unhealthy understanding of what "being a man" is and decide it's not for you
Society treats sexual assault against men as a joke. The idea is that men are strong and can't be physically forced to do anything, so if you get assaulted you've lost your manhood. People internalize this stuff. You can wish they wouldn't, but humans are effected by the culture they live in.
These are are invisible traumas that can haunt trans men who appear to be totally well adjusted or passing. I personally know a lot of trans men who don't want to be grouped together with cis men based on what abuse they've received from cis men. I also know trans men who cannot accept themselves as "real" men based on their personal history, or the lack of passable surgery options for trans men, even if they pass with their clothes on.
My only point here is that when we see trends, there are reasons behind it. Maybe some of the things I mentioned are the reasons, maybe not, I didn't do a study on it or anything.
And for the love of god trans women please stop speaking over trans men or enbies on these issues. If you don't know any trans men on an extremely, extremely personal level, you probably don't know enough to speak for them. Y'all of all people should know that just because someone looks like a cis male does not mean they don't have some personal stuff going on behind the scenes
submitted by SouthernYoghurt9 to honesttransgender [link] [comments]

Wait, some people really actually FEEL LIKE their AGAB?

Shortly after realizing you were trans, did you have a moment of "Oh wait... some people really ARE women/men"?
This sounds dumb and I wouldn't have understood what I meant if I read these words like 3 weeks ago. Like, duh, of course. But it never clicked for me that "woman" and "man" really are two different frameworks for BEING in the world. The one I was given fit so poorly I didn't understand how it was supposed to work. And yet it took me 32 years to realize this and actually like, decide to do away with it for myself and try out the other binary option. Just realizing I was Not-Cis was a great step, but trying on the other binary gender and FEELING AT HOME IN IT was a complete surprise.
I never in a million years would have thought I was trans but it makes so much sense now. How could I not have seen this for > 3 decades??
submitted by etherealcerral to asktransgender [link] [comments]

[ Poll results!!] Drag Race Holland Episode 5: 'Snatch Game.'

[ Poll results!!] Drag Race Holland Episode 5: 'Snatch Game.'
So once again I am surprised at your reactions, I expected you to disagree HARD with the judges on this episode, but besides the mini-challenge and the runway most of the answers generally agree with the judges. Though that could also be attributed to it being the top 6 and there's just not enough space to disagree anymore. What are you looking for next week? Who's your personal favourite of the top 5 and what are your views on the gender-binary? I'm looking forward to the discussion below and I'm also looking forward to having some less serious bonus question again haha. See you next sunday with another poll!
We're all born and the rest is drag; who do you think had the best nude photo? / We zijn allemaal naaktgeboren en de rest is drag; wie vindt jij dat de beste naaktfoto had?
1. ChelseaBoy – 263 (34,3%)
2. Envy Peru – 190 (24,8%)
3. Janey Jacké – 121 (15,8%)
4. Ma’Ma Queen – 118 (15,4%)
5. Sederginne – 41 (5,4%)
6. Miss Abby OMG – 33 (4,8%)
Then we headed straight into the snatch game; which queens had the best snatch? / Toen gingen we direct door naar de snatch game; wie gaf jou de beste 'snatch?'
1. ChelseaBoy (Joe Exotic) – 549 (71,7%)
2. Envy Peru (Patty Brard)– 181 (23,6%)
3. No opinion / geen mening – 33 (4,3%)
4. Miss Abby OMG (Michella Kox) – 1 (0,1%)
5. Janey Jacké (Anny Schilder) – 0 (0,0%)
6. Ma’Ma Queen (Ryanne van Dorst) – 0 (0,0%)
7. Sederginne (Mega Mega Mindy) – (0,0%)
Our Tiger King
Dutch exclusive question: Nou jongens, ik heb dit in mijn eigen kringen lopen roepen voordat we wisten dat we een snatchgame zouden krijgen; maar ik vind persoonlijk dat ze 'Ranking the Stars' als format hadden moeten nemen. Het is in vorm een vergelijkbaar spel, en daarnaast heel herkenbaar voor de gewone Nederlander. Wat is jullie mening hier in?
Disclaimer: I’ve left out the percentages in the results of this question as the overwhelming majority (over 600 respondents) is not Dutch (yay international audience!).
1. Ik ben het hier wel mee eens – 48
2. Als het grappiger was geweest dan deze snatch game dan zou ik het er wel mee eens zijn hoor! - 39
3. Ik sta hier neutral in - 28
4. Ik ben Anny Schilder – 28
5. Ik ben het er niet mee eens – 16
For reference this is 'Ranking the Stars,' a program in which Dutch celebs rank eachother comedically based on a humorous prompt. As I asked in this exclusively Dutch question, it's a program which in form and content is similar to Snatch Game but which I think would have worked better for Drag Race Holland.
Category is: 'Split Personality,' which 3 looks made you feel moist in your split? / categorie is: 'Gespleten persoonlijkheid,' welke 3 looks maakten het vocht in je spleetje warm?
· ChelseaBoy – 695 (90,7%)
· Ma’Ma Queen – 672 (87,7%)
· Envy Peru – 552 (72,1%)
· Janey Jacké – 267 (34,9%)
· Miss Abby OMG – 69 (nice (9%))
· Sederginne – 43 (5,6%)
Who would you give your top toot to? wie zou jij je top toet geven?
1. ChelseaBoy – 392 (51,4%)
2. Ma’Ma Queen – 245 (32,2%)
3. Envy Peru – 91 (11,9%)
4. Janey Jacké – 27 (3,5%)
5. Miss Abby OMG – 5 (0,7%)
6. Sederginne – 2 (0,3%)
Our top toot of the week is: ChelseaBoy!
Based on the runway, as well as both challenges; who would you say 'condragulations, you're the winner of this week.' to? / Gebaseerd op de runway en de beide challenges; wie zou jij willen feliciteren met de winst van deze week?
1. ChelseaBoy – 613 (80,3%)
  1. Envy Peru – 139 (18,2%)
  2. Janey Jacké – 5 (0,7%)
  3. Ma’Ma Queen – 5 (0,7%)
  4. Miss Abby OMG – 0 (0,0%)
  5. Sederginne – 0 (0,0%)
Who would you have picked for the bottom two? / wie zou jij hebben laten lipsyncen?
· Miss Abby OMG – 695 (90,7%)
· Sederginne – 671 (87,6%)
· Janey Jacké – 81 (10,6%)
· Ma’Ma Queen – 71 (9,3%)
· Envy Peru – 11 (1,4%)
· ChelseaBoy – 3 (0,4%)
Who lost the lipsync? / wie verloor de lipsync?
1. Sederginne – 297 (39,1%)
2. Miss Abby OMG – 228 (30%)
3. Double Sashay / ze hadden beiden moeten vertrekken – 218 (28,7%)
4. Double Shantay / ze hadden beiden moeten blijven – 17 (2,2%)
Who are your favorite 3 queens thus far? / welke 3 queens zijn tot nu toe je favoriet?
· ChelseaBoy – 709 (92,6%)
· Envy Peru – 651 (85%)
· Ma’Ma Queen – 558 (72,8%)
· Janey Jacké – 302 (39,4%)
· Miss Abby OMG – 78 (10,2%)
who's your personal favorite going into next week? / welke queen uit de top 5 is je persoonlijke favoriet?
Interesting to see how our 2nd most favorite queen gets eliminated.
B-B-B-Bonus question #1 The eliminated queens have announced who they would have done on their respective socials, what snatch did you miss most on the current panel? / De geëlimineerde queens hebben op hun respectievelijke socials bekend gemaakt wie zij voor hun snatchgame zouden hebben gedaan; wie van deze had jij het liefst op het panel gezien?
Considering over 600 respondents weren’t Dutch it’s not very surprising that the top 3 here are the international choices.
1. Patty Pam Pam (option 2: Dame Edna) – 236 (32,6%)
2. Roem Service (Option 2: Miranda Priestly) – 233 (32,2%)
3. Madame Madness (Conchita Wurst) – 99 (13,7%)
4. Patty Pam Pam (option 1: Princess Beatrix) – 81 (11,2%)
5. Roem Service (option 1: Juf Ank) – 55 (7,6%)
6. Megan Schoonbrood (Rachel Hazes) – 20 (2,8%)

Patty's Dame Edna
B-B-B-Bonus question #2 the Judges response to Ma'Ma Queen's explaination for their outfit has sparked some discussion about non-binarity acceptance in the Netherlands; which response suits your opinion on the situation best: / Het jury commentaar op Ma'Ma queens uitleg van hun outfit heeft voor wat discussie gezorgd online over de acceptatie van non-binairiteit in Nederland; welk van de volgende antwoorden past het beste bij jouw mening op het onderwerp?
1. The producers should have brought in judges that are informed on the subjects that matter in the LGBTQ+ community, this is unacceptable on Drag Race. / De producenten hadden ervoor moeten zorgen dat er jury-leden zaten die op de hoogte zijn van de onderwerpen die er toe doen binnen de LHBTIQ+ gemeenschap, dit is niet acceptabel voor Drag Race. – 317 (42,2%)
  1. I think the judges were uninformed on the subject of non-binarity, which speaks to the lack of representation of non-binarity. / Ik denk dat de juryleden van het bestaan van 'non-binair zijn' niet afwisten, en dat zegt wat over de representatie van Non-binaire personen. – 201 (26,7%)
  2. I acknowledge that the producers are fighting to balance the issues on this show to keep it relevant for a mainstream audience, but if they don't want to hit controversy they should not have chosen this category or interpreted it as they did. / Ik begrijp goed dat de producenten alle onderwerpen wikken en wegen om het programma ook toegankelijk te maken voor het gewone publiek, maar als ze geen controverse willen scheppen hadden ze dit onderwerp niet moeten aansnijden of in ieder geval niet zo moeten interpreteren. – 142 (18,9%)
  3. I'm neutral on this subject, but I'm glad a discussion has started. / Ik sta hier neutral in maar ik ben blij dat een discussie op gang komt. – 61 (8,1%)
  4. I'm not informed enough on the subject matter to choose any of these answers. / Ik weet te weinig over dit onderwerp om één van deze antwoorden te kiezen. – 29 (3,9%)
B-B-B-Bonus Question #3: How do you identify? (if your option isn't in the list, choose one of the 'other' options and inform me in the comments of the reddit post on how you identify!) / Hoe identificeer jij jezelf? (als je je niet kunt vinden in de opties in de lijst kies dan een van de 'anders namelijk...' opties en geef het aan in de comments van de reddit post hoe jij je identificeert!)
Disclaimer, I had to change two of the possible answers half way through because the wording of them was bio-essentialist. I referred to 'identifying with your biological sex,' implying that biology plays a part in gender identity while gender is a social construct. instead I was given the tip to change it to 'identifying with the gender you were assigned at birth.' which is a more suitable answer in the context as it leaves biology completely out of the discussion. But because of this change Google forms categorized the changed answers as a different answer so the math of this question could be off as I added up the percentages to create two answers in the end result.
1. I identify myself along the binary and I identify with the gender that was assigned to me at birth (Cis) / Ik identificeer mijzelf langs de binaire verdeling en ik identificeer mij met het geslacht wat mij bij mijn geboorte is toegewezen(Cis.) – 550 (74,8%)
  1. I identify myself along the binary but I'm fluid in my identity (genderfluid) / Ik identificeer mezelf langs de binaire verdeling maar ik ben fluïde in mijn identiteit (gender fluïde) – 55 (7,5%)
  2. I don't identify myself along the binary (non-binary) / Ik identificeer me niet langs de binaire verdeling ( non-binair) – 55 (7,5%)
  3. I don't identify myself along the binary but I don't consider myself non-binary (other...) / Ik identificeer me niet langs de binaire verdeling maar ik identificeer mij ook niet als non-binair (anders namelijk...) – 47 (6,4%)
  4. I identify myself along the binary but I don't identify as any of the other options given (other...) / Ik identificeer me wel langs de binaire verdeling maar ik identificeer me niet als een van de gegeven opties. (anders namelijk...) – 15 (2%)
  5. I identify myself along the binary but I don't identify with the gender I was assigned at birth (Trans) / Ik identificeer mijzelf langs de binaire verdeling maar ik identificeer mij niet met het geslacht dat mij bij mijn geboorte werd toegewezen(Trans). – 7 (1%)
submitted by mythologue to DragRaceHolland [link] [comments]

Partners of trans people, how do you describe yourselves?

I'm the trans man in my relationship, with a cis man, and he's fishing around for "What do I call myself now?"
I've always been able to dance around questions about my sexuality because I'm bi, so when my partners have transitioned, when I transitioned, I've never had to reevaluate the words I use for myself. But, prior to my transition, my partner called himself straight, and to both of us that still seems like the most "fitting" label for his sexuality - He's a man who's into women, but who happens to incidentally have feelings for exactly one man. But, we both also see the utility in him calling himself bi - It doesn't beg strange questions from strangers, it reminds people that coming to realise your own queerness late in life is just a thing that happens sometimes. We can also see an argument for calling himself gay, because the only person he's been into in any meaningful way for fifteen years is a man, with only very incidental and usually not-acted-upon attraction to women.

I feel like a lot of the cis-wives-of-trans-women, who'd previously been mostly or only into men, tend to call themselves lesbian rather than bi - But I'm not sure if that's an artefact of my own (Smallish) friendship group, or something else. And likewise that many of the cis-husbands-of-trans-men who'd previously only been interested in women tend to call themselves bi. So, I thought I'd ask here, and see what you all call yourselves, and if there's any kind of community consensus as to what's "correct". Reasonings and philosophical musings absolutely welcomed and solicited!

I can only poll for six options, so I went for the six binary ones that are closest to my current situation - But I'd also love to hear how lesbian women and gay men whose partners have transitioned encompass that into their orientations, and whether they change the words that they use for themselves or not, and likewise for asexual people and nonbinary people - Just really want to take the temperature of the community, since the partners of trans people can be in a fairly unique position - Like the straight partners of bi people, the cis and especially cishet partners of trans people have this position of being very adjacent to queer community, often very involved in it in some ways, but in other ways quite insulated, and you all deserve a lot more understanding and curiosity from people who are trying to understand the LGBT+ world.

View Poll
submitted by jimgymthrowaway to mypartneristrans [link] [comments]

Terraform Init `-reconfigure` Question

Hola,
So I've been working to simplify and automate the upgrade process to take some of our deployments from TF v12 to v13.
Our deploys are run in CI/CD containers and our backends are stored in S3.
In my tinkering I've been using the terraform init -reconfigure command to initialize Terraform after swapping to the new v13 binary. When trying to dig deeper and get a better understanding of what -reconfigure actually does, the documentation is kinda vague?
The -reconfigure option disregards any existing configuration, preventing migration of any existing state.
My worry is breaking a state file - in my testing I've seen that the -reconfigure flag does seem to modify the remote state file (after checking versioning datestamps) but I don't really know to what extent the state is modified?
Can anyone shed some light on exactly what -reconfigure does and whether or not its a "safe" action as far as state contents?
submitted by S7R4nG3 to Terraform [link] [comments]

Gridcoin 5.0.0.0-Mandatory "Fern" Release

https://github.com/gridcoin-community/Gridcoin-Research/releases/tag/5.0.0.0
Finally! After over ten months of development and testing, "Fern" has arrived! This is a whopper. 240 pull requests merged. Essentially a complete rewrite that was started with the scraper (the "neural net" rewrite) in "Denise" has now been completed. Practically the ENTIRE Gridcoin specific codebase resting on top of the vanilla Bitcoin/Peercoin/Blackcoin vanilla PoS code has been rewritten. This removes the team requirement at last (see below), although there are many other important improvements besides that.
Fern was a monumental undertaking. We had to encode all of the old rules active for the v10 block protocol in new code and ensure that the new code was 100% compatible. This had to be done in such a way as to clear out all of the old spaghetti and ring-fence it with tightly controlled class implementations. We then wrote an entirely new, simplified ruleset for research rewards and reengineered contracts (which includes beacon management, polls, and voting) using properly classed code. The fundamentals of Gridcoin with this release are now on a very sound and maintainable footing, and the developers believe the codebase as updated here will serve as the fundamental basis for Gridcoin's future roadmap.
We have been testing this for MONTHS on testnet in various stages. The v10 (legacy) compatibility code has been running on testnet continuously as it was developed to ensure compatibility with existing nodes. During the last few months, we have done two private testnet forks and then the full public testnet testing for v11 code (the new protocol which is what Fern implements). The developers have also been running non-staking "sentinel" nodes on mainnet with this code to verify that the consensus rules are problem-free for the legacy compatibility code on the broader mainnet. We believe this amount of testing is going to result in a smooth rollout.
Given the amount of changes in Fern, I am presenting TWO changelogs below. One is high level, which summarizes the most significant changes in the protocol. The second changelog is the detailed one in the usual format, and gives you an inkling of the size of this release.

Highlights

Protocol

Note that the protocol changes will not become active until we cross the hard-fork transition height to v11, which has been set at 2053000. Given current average block spacing, this should happen around October 4, about one month from now.
Note that to get all of the beacons in the network on the new protocol, we are requiring ALL beacons to be validated. A two week (14 day) grace period is provided by the code, starting at the time of the transition height, for people currently holding a beacon to validate the beacon and prevent it from expiring. That means that EVERY CRUNCHER must advertise and validate their beacon AFTER the v11 transition (around Oct 4th) and BEFORE October 18th (or more precisely, 14 days from the actual date of the v11 transition). If you do not advertise and validate your beacon by this time, your beacon will expire and you will stop earning research rewards until you advertise and validate a new beacon. This process has been made much easier by a brand new beacon "wizard" that helps manage beacon advertisements and renewals. Once a beacon has been validated and is a v11 protocol beacon, the normal 180 day expiration rules apply. Note, however, that the 180 day expiration on research rewards has been removed with the Fern update. This means that while your beacon might expire after 180 days, your earned research rewards will be retained and can be claimed by advertising a beacon with the same CPID and going through the validation process again. In other words, you do not lose any earned research rewards if you do not stake a block within 180 days and keep your beacon up-to-date.
The transition height is also when the team requirement will be relaxed for the network.

GUI

Besides the beacon wizard, there are a number of improvements to the GUI, including new UI transaction types (and icons) for staking the superblock, sidestake sends, beacon advertisement, voting, poll creation, and transactions with a message. The main screen has been revamped with a better summary section, and better status icons. Several changes under the hood have improved GUI performance. And finally, the diagnostics have been revamped.

Blockchain

The wallet sync speed has been DRASTICALLY improved. A decent machine with a good network connection should be able to sync the entire mainnet blockchain in less than 4 hours. A fast machine with a really fast network connection and a good SSD can do it in about 2.5 hours. One of our goals was to reduce or eliminate the reliance on snapshots for mainnet, and I think we have accomplished that goal with the new sync speed. We have also streamlined the in-memory structures for the blockchain which shaves some memory use.
There are so many goodies here it is hard to summarize them all.
I would like to thank all of the contributors to this release, but especially thank @cyrossignol, whose incredible contributions formed the backbone of this release. I would also like to pay special thanks to @barton2526, @caraka, and @Quezacoatl1, who tirelessly helped during the testing and polishing phase on testnet with testing and repeated builds for all architectures.
The developers are proud to present this release to the community and we believe this represents the starting point for a true renaissance for Gridcoin!

Summary Changelog

Accrual

Changed

Most significantly, nodes calculate research rewards directly from the magnitudes in EACH superblock between stakes instead of using a two- or three- point average based on a CPID's current magnitude and the magnitude for the CPID when it last staked. For those long-timers in the community, this has been referred to as "Superblock Windows," and was first done in proof-of-concept form by @denravonska.

Removed

Beacons

Added

Changed

Removed

Unaltered

As a reminder:

Superblocks

Added

Changed

Removed

Voting

Added

Changed

Removed

Detailed Changelog

[5.0.0.0] 2020-09-03, mandatory, "Fern"

Added

Changed

Removed

Fixed

submitted by jamescowens to gridcoin [link] [comments]

I'm a nonbinary researcher and I am curious the most inclusive way to ask gender?

I am an engineering education grad student that focuses on assessment- so currently I write surveys.
I am trying to figure out the best way to ask gender.
My professor has ...
What is your gender? Multiple choice: male, female, trans man, trans woman, gender nonconforming, othedo not wish to disclose
I have
What is your gender? Multiple choice: male, female, trans man, trans woman, nonbinary, othedo not wish to disclose
I was thinking as an alternative...
What is your gender? Check all that apply: male, female, transgender, nonbinary, othedo not wish to disclose.
Thoughts?
submitted by the_nat_strikes_back to asktransgender [link] [comments]

Jeph's attempts to represent every major marginalized group in the United States have absolutely wrecked this comic, and ended up accurately representing nobody.

Jeph...is not a great writer. I know we all have fond memories of QC in its "glory days," but participating in the reread I've started to realize something. Jeph's ability to write a good story is limited to what he himself experienced in his formative days and while he was writing the early strips: life as a mid-twenties-something guy, pining after attractive girls that came and went from his little indie music scene.And he does it well, because he's drawing on what he knows. The dialogue is realistic! Comics don't all end with a shitty-punch-line delivered by a sp0rk-holding-rando...because Jeph probably didn't interact with people like that. The main characters come off as real people because most of them are probably based, consciously or not, off of people Jeph really knew and interacted with.
It's also real. There's plenty of dialogue that reads as entitled, or would now be considered entirely unacceptable in Jeph's writing. See Sarah's "rape/hump" dialogue. This is how Jeph and his friends *probably* spoke. I know that I threw around the word 'rape' much more casually when I was young and immature than I do now. (It also bothers me that Jeph tries to hide the fact that he's grown out of this mindset, but that's a different post altogether.)
Or look at Faye's alcoholism storyline - probably the best writing the comic has seen. It's compelling and readable because it's something Jeph himself has dealt with - he knows those feelings of helplessness and addiction. It's true to life, and as a consequence the writing is almost naturally well done.
And it makes sense! Because things proceed like a person's life often does, for Marten. People come, people leave. You fall in love with one girl, she leaves and you meet another. It's realistic because it's based in reality. It's fun because it has goofy situations, interesting characters, and a "very-pretty-if-you-don't-look-too-hard-at-it" sci-fi angle.
Then we come to today.
Look at how the cast has changed. Aside from having no protagonist, there is not a single main character that Jeph can really relate to on any real-world-experience level. As far as I know, he does not identify as a woman, as a person of color, as someone who is queer, or as someone who is transgendered. There's nothing wrong with that or writing about it, but it's definitely going to make writing characters who *are* living those lives a little harder to write. You don't have the dialogue to draw on. You don't have those interactions with other characters as lived-experiences to draw on.
So you've got two choices. You either write what you *imagine* them to be and sound like, or you do your research. Let's talk about the first, and more problematic of the two options, first. I would encourage everyone to go check out /menwritingwomen for some good examples of why it can be this way. Even if you're doing your best to write it realistically, it's probably going to come off as often-times awkward sounding dialogue. Effectively every female character in the comic has been reduced to this. When they're not serving Jeph's purpose to represent their marginality (May opining the life of a convict, Roko having a dissociative episode, Brun acting emotionlessly and/or discussing clocks, the list goes on) they're acting like Jeph probably *imagines* women act around other women. Because Jeph has never *been* a woman alone with another woman, and he doesn't know the intricacies of homogenous gender conversations of the opposite sex more than a cis-gendered woman could explain had by men alone. It invariably turns to stereotypes - boobs, appearances, relationships.
It also gives you characters, even if you represent them well, who are defined by the one characteristic you created them for. Brun is my favorite example for this. Do we know *anything* about this girl? We know she's an out-of-work bartender, enjoys clocks , and has autism. We know *so* much about her autism and almost nothing else about her because that's probably what Jeph has to draw on. I don't know that he's ever met someone with autism, let alone spoken with them about their life and experiences. We also know that everyone wants to fuck her, but that's its own weird can of worms that I don't really want to address right now.
So what's the alternative, if you want to write about a person who is different from you? I don't think that artists should be constrained and I also think representation is really important. I think that Jeph's *intentions,* to write a comic that accurately represents the lives of members of marginalized groups, *especially* considering everything that's been going on in the United States is an admirable thing. And he actually does hit some elements quite well, actually. I know this sub likes to bash on the realism of Clinton's perceived sexual revelations, but queerness doesn't require foreshadowing to appear in someone's life and Jeph understands this.
But, if you're going to do it, do your research. Be forewarned that from this point onwards, I'm speaking *solely* on theory. I don't get the sense that Jeph has ever researched the communities and issues he's trying to write about, save for the woketwitter threads he reads. Everything he writes now reads like it came out of a 15-post-long twitter thread explaining the virtues or disvirtues of this and/or that. I do not get the sense that he's ever strived to understand anything more than the broad-strokes of an issue, know the key-phrases and topic catchphrases, and sets off to write about it. For starters, *talk* to these communities. Reach out, past Twitter and Deviantart, and get a real understanding of what you're writing about. Meet transgendered people. Work with children with autism. Work with convicted felons. That's what good writers *do* when they want to understand the subjects they're writing about. Yes, that's hard when you're trying to represent *everyone,* so maybe it's time to scale back and focus in a little harder on one issue that's important to you, Jeph.
Here's how I want to conclude this: Jeph wants to represent the marginalized in his comic, and he wants to offer sincere political commentary. I do not believe he does it just for the woke points (although, yes, his Patreon is the specter that will always loom over him). But if it's going to be at all quality, Jeph needs to narrow things down tremendously. Choose your target, do your research, and continuously write about that character, giving them the chance to develop naturally. Otherwise, it's going to be more of this herky-jerky bullshit forever.

Edit: Read comments, decided to add a bit more.

A lot of this comes from Jeph's mixed attempt at what he's doing. On one hand, he's admitted he's trying to make this comic a safe space for trans and other non-binary folk, which I think is great. On the other hand, he's simultaneously telling the stories of the lives of marginalized folks and write social commentary about the world as he perceives it.
And there's nothing wrong with that...except for that you end up with, frankly, shitty storytelling and messages that don't come across very clearly. He has these intense lead-ups, like Faye coming out to her mother, or Roko's dissociative episodes, or Elliott confessing his attraction to someone who (as far as he knows) is a straight man. And then it just...gets resolved. No difficulties, no problems, just smooth sailing. And hey, if Jeph just wants to tell a friendly story there's nothing wrong with that, but it isn't really telling the stories of the marginalized. Because the truth is that those stories usually don't have happy endings. They don't usually end with accepting parents, or a problem that can be resolved with a snap of the fingers. They're oftentimes painful and they're intense, and if Jeph as an author is going to tell these stories then it is his responsibility to tell the truth. I think doing anything else is irresponsible, frankly. He's giving his readers, many of whom are younger and impressionable, a false sense of how these stories usually go.
And I don't agree with the, "It's just supposed to be lighthearted," angle either. Plenty of shows have managed to maintain a tone while handling serious issues. Adventure Time is a great example of this.
submitted by nopenishereofficer to questionablecontent [link] [comments]

Please help me make sense of all this.

Sorry in advance for the following absolutely massive wall of text...
Preface: I am a cis male (?) in a long term (14 year) hetero relationship. I'm trying to keep certain of these details vague to keep this post sfw since the story wouldn't really make sense with them completely omitted, so sorry if I do cross that line.
A week ago I was absolutely certain that 100% straight. I had a few kinks that I just chalked up to being secure enough with my self to ignore whatever gendeorientation stereotypes are attached to them and enjoy them for what they were.
The following is kinda the story / (admittedly very short) journey I've been on realizing that can't be true.
My wife and I were having a discussion before bed and trying to give perspective about something she's feeling, she says something to the effect of, "... it's like how I truly think you'd enjoy sex with a real guy," (as opposed to using toys). I immediately shot her a look of incredulity and gave her a skeptical, "Uh... Huh..." She went on into detail that's not appropriate here. The important part is that when she was done, I couldn't argue, she was right—that sounded pretty incredible actually (though I couldn't fully admit that in the moment).
A bit later in the night, she's fallen asleep and I'm wide awake trying to process this revelation. Up to that point I'd never thought of another guy as sexually attractive (as far as I could think), but there was no denying I now had a strong desire for what she described.
Immediately, the analytical part of my brain starts trying to rationalize these thoughts. It's likely not actually direct attraction to guys so much as wanting the sensations that that would come from the sex. But then it's like if I want that feeling and being with a guy is the only way to get that feeling, then wouldn't that mean that I do want to be with a guy? Transitive property of desire or something lol.
I did up fantasizing about being it that night, but had a lot of trouble fully imagining a person. I figured if I can't imagine it, maybe I don't want it? Or maybe I won't let myself. Or maybe I don't know what I like yet? Then I thought about it another way; if I were to go through with being with a guy, what would I want him to look like? With no effort, I was able to rattle off a list of what I'm into.
Finally getting that out feels like I must have given myself permission to feel this way because it was like something clicked in my head and quite suddenly a floodgate of repressed thoughts / emotions I never even knew I was holding back let loose.
Since the, I just been tring to allow myself to actually experience these feelings and attempt to internalize them. It's now clear that these thoughts go back pretty far (funny how that works). I've also noticed the occasional guy catches my eye the same way a woman might. I've continued to indulge in my fantasies, though at this point picturing a whole person is easier. What's more is the fantasies evolved from having things done to me to being a more active participant with a desire to return the favor to this imaginary partner. In this context, many of my kinks aren't kinks but just normal sex, which feels strangely validating.
It's been a few days since that initial chat with my wife. I explain all this to her. She gets this bemused smirk (I think she liked being right), but tries to comfort me. Being the awesome person she is, she tells me how none of that changes how she feels about me, if anything, the openness made me more attractive in her eyes (I really am lucky). She seems pretty convinced I'm actually bi. Seeing that I'm still struggling to internalize it, she puts it this way... "What if I suddenly I was a guy, would you still want to stay with me? Would you still be attracted to me?" To which I reply, "Me back when we got together woulda been very confused. Me now, yeah of course I'd stay with you, it's you the person I'm attracted to." She shrugged, "Maybe that's your answer then. Sounds like bi or pan to me."
I'm at the point where I'm really confused about what this all means, what it says about me, my identity etc. So, again analytical me starts trying to research all these feelings and such. Which is how I found this little corner of reddit actually. I found a bunch of random quizzes (some seem to have science behind them) hoping if not for an answer, at least something to help me understand what I'm feeling. I'm still struggling to internalize everything and even just organize my thoughts. I feel like I'm having a massive identity crisis. I mean, who knows you better than you know yourself? Yet here I am 30 years old knowing something as a core fact of who I am as long as I can remember, only to realize I was wrong. There's just so much swirling around in my head at the moment that I feel like I'm in a bit of a fog. I can't help but wonder maybe I actually was right and maybe these feelings are some sort of of fabrication I've felt compelled to come up with for some unknown reason. I dono, I just feel like a tourist if that makes sense. Then again, I can't fathom getting this far down the rabbit hole if there wasn't some validity. And if there is validity, what does that make me? Judging by how I feel about my wife, I know I'm not gay, but after all this there's no way I'm straight either. Beyond that I'm lost. Bi? Pan? Just curious? Actually a tourist? Looking for attention?
On top of all this, in immersing myself in this topic and trying to find people with similar experiences, it made me start to question my gender too. I mean if I got my sexuality wrong for so long, who's to say I didn't get my gender wrong too? I mean I've always thought of myself as purely a cis male, but there's also always been these desires/feelings to be more feminine (and rarely female) that would almost instinctively get filed away.
When shopping for clothes I often can't help but to envy the options/selection of women's clothing it feels; it often feels more my style. I wish it were more acceptable to mix and match men's and women's clothes as the mood struck. In high school I used to wear eyeliner and paint my nails, but I was an emokid, that was just part of the scene, so I'm not really sure if that factors in. I did put on some eyeliner again today for the first time in years (though I did avoid the raccoon eyes look of high school). It felt nice. Or, a month or so ago, I started shaving my legs (it's a cardinal sin to not have clean shaven legs as a cyclist (rule 33)). After doing so, I felt so much more comfortable (fuck being hairy in the FL heat) that I went and trimmed most of my body hair down to almost nothing. When I was done I felt like I was somehow bettemore content/more correct. Softer. I didn't think much of it at the time past the initial reaction, but now, with context, it feels like maybe it's another piece of this puzzle. Trying to articulate all this I found this post and it resonated deep. I'm satisfied with the bits I've got, I like my hipster beard, but I also want to feel pretty and cute and be "girly" and soft and wear a bit of makeup. Following the advice given to the OP in that thread I took a "cogiati" test. I scored a -155, which is "feminine male" which and summarized as
your internal gender identity to be mostly masculine, [...] There is, however, some indication of a strong feminine side to your being, and this is intrinsic to your constitution.
I guess that's right? Seems like decent summary the above. I mean I could get behind that; and guess that's really the important part isn't it. But then again I lack the familiarity / knowledge to recognize much beyond the binary genders, so I don't know.
I just want to feel like I know myself again. As dumb as it may sound, I think a label might help.
submitted by notQuiteAThrowaway6 to AskLGBT [link] [comments]

Gender Demographics in Podcasting

I am fairly new to podcasting and deeply thankful for the information I glean here on Reddit.
As I have read countless posts in a short time, my perception is that the population here, in this group, is overwhelming male. I would be fascinated to know what percentage of us are female/ male and how our podcasts break down by gender.
View Poll
submitted by Skypilottt to podcasting [link] [comments]

MAME 0.223

MAME 0.223

MAME 0.223 has finally arrived, and what a release it is – there’s definitely something for everyone! Starting with some of the more esoteric additions, Linus Åkesson’s AVR-based hardware chiptune project and Power Ninja Action Challenge demos are now supported. These demos use minimal hardware to generate sound and/or video, relying on precise CPU timings to work. With this release, every hand-held LCD game from Nintendo’s Game & Watch and related lines is supported in MAME, with Donkey Kong Hockey bringing up the rear. Also of note is the Bassmate Computer fishing aid, made by Nintendo and marketed by Telko and other companies, which is clearly based on the dual-screen Game & Watch design. The steady stream of TV games hasn’t stopped, with a number of French releases from Conny/VideoJet among this month’s batch.
For the first time ever, games running on the Barcrest MPU4 video system are emulated well enough to be playable. Titles that are now working include several games based on the popular British TV game show The Crystal Maze, Adders and Ladders, The Mating Game, and Prize Tetris. In a clear win for MAME’s modular architecture, the breakthrough came through the discovery of a significant flaw in our Motorola MC6840 Programmable Timer Module emulation that was causing issues for the Fairlight CMI IIx synthesiser. In the same manner, the Busicom 141-PF desk calculator is now working, thanks to improvements made to Intel 4004 CPU emulation that came out of emulating the INTELLEC 4 development system and the prototype 4004-based controller board for Flicker pinball. The Busicom 141-PF is historically significant, being the first application of Intel’s first microprocessor.
Fans of classic vector arcade games are in for a treat this month. Former project coordinator Aaron Giles has contributed netlist-based sound emulation for thirteen Cinematronics vector games: Space War, Barrier, Star Hawk, Speed Freak, Star Castle, War of the Worlds, Sundance, Tail Gunner, Rip Off, Armor Attack, Warrior, Solar Quest and Boxing Bugs. This resolves long-standing issues with the previous simulation based on playing recorded samples. Colin Howell has also refined the sound emulation for Midway’s 280-ZZZAP and Gun Fight.
V.Smile joystick inputs are now working for all dumped cartridges, and with fixes for ROM bank selection the V.Smile Motion software is also usable. The accelerometer-based V.Smile Motion controller is not emulated, but the software can all be used with the standard V.Smile joystick controller. Another pair of systems with inputs that now work is the original Macintosh (128K/512K/512Ke) and Macintosh Plus. These systems’ keyboards are now fully emulated, including the separate numeric keypad available for the original Macintosh, the Macintosh Plus keyboard with integrated numeric keypad, and a few European ISO layout keyboards for the original Macintosh. There are still some emulation issues, but you can play Beyond Dark Castle with MAME’s Macintosh Plus emulation again.
In other home computer emulation news, MAME’s SAM Coupé driver now supports a number of peripherals that connect to the rear expansion port, a software list containing IRIX hard disk installations for SGI MIPS workstations has been added, and tape loading now works for the Specialist system (a DIY computer designed in the USSR).
Of course, there’s far more to enjoy, and you can read all about it in the whatsnew.txt file, or get the source and 64-bit Windows binary packages from the download page. (For brevity, promoted V.Smile software list entries and new Barcrest MPU4 clones made up from existing dumps have been omitted here.)

MAME Testers Bugs Fixed

New working machines

New working clones

Machines promoted to working

Clones promoted to working

New machines marked as NOT_WORKING

New clones marked as NOT_WORKING

New working software list additions

Software list items promoted to working

New NOT_WORKING software list additions

Merged pull requests

submitted by cuavas to emulation [link] [comments]

Random but specific question about user sign ups and genders

I'm slowly but surely building out an app and one of the sign up requirements, and also detailed targeting feature requires a gender selection. Might I get push back or negative feedback by including "male" and "female"? I'm aware there's a whole spectrum of sexual orientation from non-binary, to trans, to cis gender, etc - but from a simplicity perspective, it would be the cleanest user experience to provide as few options as possible for the user.
If someone identifies as a female, yet was born a male - it's totally fine with me, but will I be pissing people off by not including all options?
Any input is appreciated, thank you!
submitted by newh0pe to startups [link] [comments]

Calling myself something else

I have been looking for love for 2 years since I came out. And no one has wanted to seriously date me.
I come with limits like causal sex not being an option because I can get pregnant but it's very dangerous for me, having chest and other sorts of body dysphoria and not being able to have bio children, wanting sex both ways. Being monogamous is also a barrier, and I almost feel a pressure to try poly stuff, even though it would probably break me.
All the people I have tried to date are from very far away, because no one near me is really anyone I like or willing to date me. Dating apps just run out of people. Conversations end quick, even when I try to engage culturally. Most queer people are more interested in pride badges and video games than whatever I'm into, and I haven't really shared interests with many.
Due to bad and invalidating experiences, I'm not so sure about dating a binary person anymore. I'm still considering it, but mostly because I have ran out of options, and it does feel like putting myself in harm's way perhaps.
I like femininity and a kind of fem-leaning androgyny, dabbling in makeup, hair care and fashion together as ways of connecting. Due to both physical and mental preferences, most people I'm attracted to are AMAB. I can't change it. I don't look for signs that someone is AFAB nb to eliminate them, but admittedly, most styles and faces and bodies do not draw me in, and the sexual aspect is kind of lacking as well. I can't really get with vaginas, though I guess I would try very hard for the right person. I also don't think it's respectful to put someone in a position where their lover is unenthusiastic, put off and has to "try very hard", force themselves, no matter if the vagina in question is cis or trans. Similarly, I have found very few men attractive. If they're not outright masculine, I might like them at first. But sooner or later they just don't want to be visibly queer outside of the home or expect me to be ok with quietly "flying under the radar" as a woman. I hesitate to call myself truly pan because of all this.
I know that I'm quite ok attractiveness wise, I keep fit and keep learning about the world, being curious and ambitious. So those aren't likely the issue, people have told me so as well.
So it must be the label. I'm not even sure non-binary even describes me anymore, because I have so little in common with other nb people or the expectation to be "the opposite" in expression as my AGAB. Still, clearly, saying I'm a cis woman would mislead people about what to expect of me, physically in the body (no boob) and reproductively, mentally and romantically and in how I want to be seen.
I am exhausted, and I don't think there is anything for me that accurately gets me across. I am not interested in "call yourself what you are comfortable! You are valid, uwu" — I just want to know what the keyword is that people who like people like me look for. For practical purposes.
Do you think the right people are unable to find me, or that this is literally how it is - no one out there for me? Might well be. But I have no idea how to continue, because I'm still young and the thought of a long lonely life makes me miserable and lethargic.
The restrictions seem too many and the odds too low. I hope that I am still looking in the wrong circles or missing something, a big new era of an oddball dating app everyone has migrated to. (I have tried the main ones, like OkC, Taimi, role reversal here on reddit, etc). Maybe I just did not know what to call myself correctly and there's a whole bunch of dateable people who just see people first, but aren't crazy gender abolitionist radicals or TERFs.
Pls help. What is accurate, what is real?
TL;DR: ia non-binary even the right label, is pan the correct one, or what else that people could feasibly understand is out there? I'm missing out on being 22 and loving and living because of this.
submitted by gggrregg to questioning [link] [comments]

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